Another prompt, from here.
Write a story involving a squirrel, some dental floss, and some duct tape, and ending with the words “and that is how I saved the world.”
I had always used cinnamon dental floss, up until now. All my friend had in her bathroom was mint floss, and I had forgotten mine back in Ithaca. I was forced to use it, and found it refreshingly new and different. Though still not quite cinnamon-y enough.
As I entered my friend’s living room, I found her digging through my purse.
“A duct tape wallet!” she said excitedly, waving my wallet in the air. “Did you make it yourself?”
“Uh, yeah,” I responded.
“Cool,” she said, and threw my purse at me. She grabbed her own and we headed out the back door.
A squirrel jumped off the banister and scuttled up the nearest tree. I noticed some more squirrels running in circles in the garden.
“You sure have a lot of squirrels in this area,” I said to my friend.
“Yeah, I’ve been convinced since I was a little girl that they have some sort of conspiracy going or something,” my friend chuckled.
Suddenly, the squirrel in the nearest tree jumped and landed on my friend’s head. She screamed, and I turned just in time to see the squirrels from the garden heading straight toward me. But these were no ordinary squirrels. Their eyes glowed red and their tails seemed to be made of some sort of metallic material. My CIA training kicked in and I dropped to the ground just as the squirrels lunged for my face. They collided with the squirrel on my friend’s head and all three hit the side of the house with a loud screech.
Something told me this was not the end of this squirrel battle. I grabbed my friend by the shoulders and steered her into the house, locking the door behind us.
“What are we going to do?” she asked me frantically.
“We need to find the Queen Squirrel,” I told her, “if we destroy the Queen, we’ll destroy them all.”
“But where will we find the Queen?” she asked, not questioning my sanity, for she too had seen the craziness in the squirrels’ red eyes.
I thought for a few moments, recalling my months of intensive squirrel lore research. “What is the location of your city’s largest oak tree?”
“Why, my own backyard!” my friend answered. “My family has always prided –”
“Great!” I shouted, not believing my luck. A chance to bring down the SRS*, right in my own friend’s backyard! I ran upstairs, grabbed some mint dental floss, and journeyed back outside.
Scaling the largest tree, I warded off the guard squirrels easily enough, when I found myself approaching the nest of the Queen Squirrel. She exited the nest proudly, and announced with a scoff, “Give it up, girl, you will never foil me now, especially since I am so close to unleashing my plan for world domination.”
She never expected what was coming next. I lunged, wrapping the mint floss around her tiny squirrel neck. She fell out of the tree, and was soon followed by the rest of the robot squirrels, screeching and sparking as they plummeted to the earth.
And that is how I saved the world.
* Society of Robot Squirrels